Most psychopaths appear just tell me about yourself dating you and me—only they’re especially charismatic. These are the red flags Jen Waite wishes she knew when she first met her ex. 163 0 16 0s16 7. 813 0 0 1 .
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It conjures images of Hannibal Lecter wearing a muzzle, and Lizzy Borden swinging an ax. I found out he was leading a double life right after the birth of our daughter. Since then, I’ve made it my mission to help others who find themselves in a similar situation. People are often surprised to learn that not all psychopaths are murderers.
But they do destroy—lives and families. Charming you’ve been waiting for entire whole life. My Prince Charming was the most charming of them all. The good news is that there are red flags that can help you identify a psychopath early on in a relationship.
Based on my experience, these are 10 signs your partner may not be who you think. Being with her is the best thing ever. Does it feel like after years of living in black and white, you suddenly see the world in bursting color? There’s nothing to argue about because he agrees with you on everything, from life goals to takeout orders. This feels amazing, so of course you want it to be normal. Two non-psychopathic human beings will, once in a while, disagree and even fight. Because it’s natural to have different opinions, emotions, likes, and dislikes.
When two become one, right? Seems totally romantic until you realize it’s totally creepy. Has your boo had the worst luck? Has his romantic life been a series of horrid breakups and crazy exes? Everyone has a past, but if he often diverts your attention from his bad behavior with sob stories, consider it a warning sign. Is your partner’s past somewhat murky?
Do you find it a bit odd that she doesn’t seem to have any childhood friends? She isn’t able to maintain long-term relationships because eventually, she exploits everyone who crosses her path. Did your affair start out as an emotional rollercoaster, hot and heavy with a tinge of danger? Did the danger have to do with some form of competition? A psychopath will try to play you off someone else in his life—whether it’s his wife, an ex, or even a family member—to make himself seem more desirable. Then, they manipulate you by creating “triangles that simulate rivalry and raise their perceived value.
Hanging with your soul mate is always an adventure. But there’s a big difference between a woman who makes your heart flutter and a psychopath with a lack of impulse control and regard for consequences. Not surprisingly, many psychopaths are criminals, but many others manage to remain out of prison, using their charm and chameleon-like coloration to cut a wide swathe through society, leaving a wake of ruined lives behind them. A bit of spontaneity can be a great thing, but repeated reckless behavior is a sign that something’s amiss.
Has your tragic Prince Charming ever gazed at you with puppy dog eyes and told you he never thought he’d find happiness because he’s just too damaged? After the swelling music fades into the background, let’s think about this for a second. Do you really want to be with someone that you need to save, or change? A healthy relationship consists of two adults coming together as already whole beings and complementing each other. If you feel like you’re giving a lot of yourself to your partner, it could be that he’s sucking the life from you. Have you watched her lie to another human being—even if it was just a white lie—without blinking, and cool as a cucumber?