Cracked only offers comment voting to subscribing members. Subscribers also have access to loads of hidden content. As jet-setting, high-life-living internet comedy writers, we here at Cracked are pretty much awash in chicks. So honestly, we don’t have much use for internet dating sites.
But we understand not everyone is so lucky. So please realize, when we recently visited several dating sites and found that some of them were, to put it mildly, less than a good idea, it was just in the name of research. You know, for your benefit. Prison inmates are in desperate need of friends on the outside!
Prison chicks so desperate they might even have sex with a loser like you! Before our resident conservatives get all indignant about how the prison system is like a big country club, we’ll have you know that women in prison, for the most part, don’t have internet access. So in order to use this site, these lovely gals apparently anticipated a prison stay ahead of time, and had the wherewithal to research the best options for meeting men once there. Dude, she totally wants it! To post a profile, they have to mail a handwritten bio, including date of birth, the state where they are currently incarcerated and expected release date. They also have to send what one can only hope is a recent picture.
What they don’t send are the details about what got them locked up. To find that out, you’ll have to click the “add to cart” button next to your lady love’s profile. For a nominal fee, you get her mailing address so you can send her a letter. It’s like 1985 up in this piece! Let’s get the obvious out of the way here. There are some high-end dating sites that actually check for criminal backgrounds before allowing people to sign up.