Please forward this error screen to 192. I’ve dated countless women and it has always amazed me how little they know about men. If nothing else, this blog is an outlet for voicing my astonishment at the typical female’s ignorance of the male mindset. At most, it shy guy dating behavior a reliable source of advice for women who want to improve their chances with the opposite sex.
I’ve had about dating was one that I had with a Catholic priest while I was in college. I knew him through my family and hadn’t seen him in a while. We were making the standard mundane small talk about how I was liking school and college life, when the conversation took an interesting turn onto the topic of the girl I’d been dating for the last few months. His question took me aback slightly. Oh, no, we aren’t going to get married no, I mean, I like her but well no No. It was clearly the first time I had even thought about it, but I knew with certainty that she wasn’t the girl I was going to spend the rest of my life with.
So then why are you dating her? If I remember correctly, he actually laughed slightly as he asked the question. I had no answer for him. The truth was that I just thought she was cute, and she liked me back, so we started dating. But the ridiculousness of my situation was embarrassingly obvious in the very instant he asked the question.
I knew that – in light of my certainty – my relationship with her was pointless. I could end up with. It wasn’t very long afterwards that I broke up with her. Since then I’ve messed around with more girls than I can count, but I have never dated a girl that I knew I couldn’t marry – because ultimately that is what I want. 20 get concerned that they haven’t had a serious relationship yet.
The implication in both examples is that everyone ought to have a string of relationships before settling down. I remember having the same mindset myself at that age. I see it still in some of my friends. This notion isn’t the exception, it is the norm.
Americans have cultivated the expectation of “dating for dating’s sake. We seem to believe there is some benefit to attaching oneself emotionally to another person only to tear away again after a year or so, and then repeating the process until eventually becoming jaded, old and single. As unfair as it might seem, this phenomenon is more damaging to woman than men. For many men, the honest answer to the priest’s second question is that they want their girlfriend for her beauty and, in most cases, for sex. In many relationships, men don’t get emotionally invested – they just get laid for a while. If the girl gets attached in the process, it just means the breakup will be messier. Even when a man does get emotionally invested, it usually occurs more slowly and to a lesser degree.
If the countless e-mails I get from readers, or my female friends’ stories and my own experience are any indication, you know what I am talking about. Yes, the initial thrill of a new relationship is exciting, but each time that excitement grows less and less because you grow accustomed to it. You gradually throw away the innocence that allows for deep emotional attachment to a single partner, in exchange for a series of brief, shallower attachments that cause you to raise your defenses against something permanent. What doesn’t end in permanency is bound to end in heartbreak, and if you eventually want to get married, you are doing yourself a disservice by ignoring that fact in the interest of “not over-thinking it” or “living in the moment. While emotional risk is important and necessary in order to find someone you really connect with, dating with no objective is nothing short of reckless.