Avoid making these dating app mistakes at all costs, because as it turns out, confusing “their” and “they’re” affects more than just your job prospects. Don’t let these simple errors ruin your chances at love. We all know the story: Professional dating app’ve seen someone’s online or dating app profile and you like what you see. Now it’s time to suss one another out, to see if they’re more than just a pretty face.
You send a message or two, and wait for a response—but the response might never come. Those first poetic little messages will make or break your conversation, so it’s imperative you get it right and don’t make painfully simple mistakes. Based on my conversations with a professional dating adviser and several female friends who are users of a dating app, it’s clear that a sloppy barrage of messages can undo all the work you put into your profile in almost no time. Here are some things to bear in mind when you’re playing virtual footsie with a beautiful stranger. 12 Biggest Dating-Profile Blunders Men Make. Showing that you have no grasp of grammar.
Yes, it’s easy to send a typo when texting back and forth—especially when you’re having rapid fire conversations with multiple potential dates—but people are going to notice, and not in a good way. If you have a problem with spelling and grammar, that’s fine. But lucky for you, we live at a time in which there are plenty of tools that check errors and improve how we come across in our writing. That said, you really ought to re-familiarize yourself with some common errors that might make someone think twice about responding to your message.
Not striking while the iron’s hot. With so much competition, people who do not respond quickly get overlooked or forgotten. When you dive right in and start a conversation, people are more likely to respond. If someone messages you first, try to message her back as soon as you can. If you do, you’ll likely catch her in time to have a conversation while your profile is fresh in her memory. You’ve seen a woman that’s pushing all your buttons, and then some. You message her because you’re eager to make a connection, and things are going great.
So great, in fact, that she expresses an interest in meeting up with you. The problem: You have an out-of-town wedding, then a business trip, then your parents are staying with you for a few days, and it’s going to be a couple weeks before you’re able to meet. You probably shouldn’t have messaged her in the first place. While this note seemingly runs counter to the one before it, it makes perfect sense: It’s not wise to start something you won’t be able to pursue in person for a while. You run the risk of running out of messaging charm—or more likely, her attention will be taken be someone who’s actually around. Copying and pasting generic messages.
V action just as easily. Ever hear that quip from a grandparent when they overheard you using this most casual of salutations? Well, it’s just as likely to provoke the ire of someone you’re interested on going on a date with as it did with grandpa. It’s lazy, it’s generic, and it suggests that the amount of effort you put into anything is minimal. Think Cooper’s going to wake up soon? Some people we polled—especially women—don’t take kindly to initial messages that center on their body.
If the first thing a guy says to me is directed at my boobs, I assume that’s all he’s interested in. A much better approach is to focus in on your shared interests and ask her questions that will give you insight into her personality. When a someone jumps straight to asking a person on a date without spending much time getting to know them, it conveys a cavalier attitude—or worse, desperation, like you’d be fine to get any warm body on a date. You can prove you’re more evolved than this by asking a girl about herself, her life, her job, and her interests before inviting her on a date.
This advice goes for when you meet in person, too: Don’t do all the talking, fellas. Being disrespectful or overly familiar. Online dating is intimidating for everyone. Respectful communication is key when you’re first meeting and texting with someone new. Again: no thank you, sir!
Inappropriate language is just as bad as grammatical errors when it comes to alienating a potential date. With a few exceptions, people use a dating app with the intention of eventually meeting up with someone in real life. Em reminds us that apps like Tinder are all about impromptu meet-ups, and people who use them are generally not looking to have interminable message exchanges. I’m having fun chatting, want to do it in person this Thursday?