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This article has multiple issues. Unsourced material may be challenged and removed. Statements consisting only of original research should be removed. The origins of the term remain obscure. Researchers in the 1960s used the term “open marriage” to describe individual freedom in choosing marriage partners.

The O’Neills conceived open marriage as one in which each partner has room for personal growth and can develop outside friendships. Most chapters in the book dealt with non-controversial approaches to revitalizing marriage in areas of trust, role flexibility, communication, identity, and equality. Chapter 16, entitled “Love Without Jealousy”, devoted 20 pages to the proposition that an open marriage could include some forms of sexuality with other partners. These concepts entered the cultural consciousness and the term “open marriage” became a synonym for sexually non-monogamous marriage—much to the regret of the O’Neills.

Nena O’Neill advocated sexual fidelity in the chapter with that same name. The whole area of extramarital sex is touchy. I don’t think we ever saw it as a concept for the majority, and certainly it has not proved to be. However, by then, the use of the term “open marriage” to mean sexually non-monogamous marriage was in widespread use. The impact of open marriage on relationships varies across couples. Some couples report high levels of marital satisfaction and have long-lasting open marriages.

These couples may continue to believe open marriage is a valid way of life, just not for them. Ground rules in relationships allow partners to coordinate their behaviors, so they achieve shared goals with fewer conflicts. Some ground rules are universal in the sense that they apply to virtually all relationships in a particular culture. Other ground rules apply to particular kinds of relationships, such as friendships or marriages.

Still other ground rules are designed to manage romantic rivalry and jealousy. The ground rules adopted by sexually monogamous couples tend to prevent behaviors that are viewed as acts of infidelity. The ground rules adopted by sexually open couples tend to prohibit behaviors that provoke jealousy or sexual health concerns. Partners may change the ground rules of their relationships over time. One example of a changing ground rule includes where a married couple decides to separate. Without divorcing, they are still legally married.