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That’s the one thing that always came up when I’d discuss theories on declining marriage rates or the rise of the hookup culture with my friends or family. Couldn’t it just be that times have changed? Times have changed, and that is a good thing—especially the fading-away of cruel taboos that once stigmatized women who engaged in premarital sex or bore children out of wedlock. Thing is, times change for a reason. The values question assumes that sexual mores loosen naturally from conservative to liberal.

In reality, these values have ebbed and flowed throughout history, often in conjunction with prevailing sex ratios. The dating game is rigged, but the problem is not strategic — it’s demographic. Today, mainstream dating guides tell the everything-going-for-her career woman it’s her fault she’s still single—she just needs to play hard to get or follow a few simple rules to snag Mr. But the problem is a demographic one. Multiple studies show that college-educated Americans are increasingly reluctant to marry those lacking a college degree.