Evil clowns have been sighted all over America since 1981. There’s a chill in clown dating air, Halloween is approaching, and America finds itself besieged on all sides by evil clowns.
The Wave of Evil Clown Sightings Is Nothing to Worry About. It Happens Every Few Years! The wave of evil clown sightings is nothing to worry about. It happens every few years! And don’t even get me started on those clowns in Washington!
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Pennywise says everything is just fine! But a careful look at the public record reveals a startling truth: There’s nothing new about America’s love affair with terrifying clowns trying to lure our children away. America’s decades of clown sorrow begin at Lawrence Elementary when children report two clowns driving a black van offering them candy. School principals are warned about the clown threat, leading to a rash of reported sightings across Boston. No clowns are ever found. A few days after the Brookline incidents begin, police in Kansas City receive multiple reports of a knife-wielding clown in a yellow van. There have been reports of a character called Killer Clown jumping out of bushes and threatening children with a knife.
The Pittsburgh police are the first to draw a connection between the clown sightings—which occurred in black neighborhoods in Pittsburgh and Kansas City—and the Atlanta Child Murders the summer before, which also targeted black children. However, the Boston-area clowns were sighted mostly in white neighborhoods. Across a three-county area, children suddenly begin calling police with stories of a malevolent clown offering rides in a red pickup truck, and, in one case, pursuing a child on foot. The original clown gets away clean.
As things in Erie get eerie, the Chicago police are also overwhelmed with reports from local schoolchildren of a man dressed as Homey D. An eighth-grader claims to have punched the clown in the nose. Several weeks later, in Elgin, an adult reports seeing a clown abduct a girl. Total number of clowns behind bars at the end of this clown spree: no clowns. A wave of clown sightings comes to an end when four teenage boys are arrested for dressing as clowns and terrorizing local children. The boys aren’t charged, as authorities cannot find a law they broke.