Casual dating vs serious dating
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I used to care about how serious a relationship was until I realized this. When was your last serious relationship? I took a gulp of wine and gave casual dating vs serious dating I saw as the honest answer — a little over three years. That was a long time ago.

I proceeded to word-vomit all over him. I’ve dated guys, you know? For like a few months here and there. I still count them as relationships. He looked at me like I had 16 heads. I’m discussing my romantic past.

The amount of time I spent with these guys, when you add all the relationships together, only equals about two and a half years out of the decade I’ve been dating. So for the rest of that time, I’ve considered myself single. But like I told the asshole with the Amstel Light, that doesn’t mean that I’ve been alone — not by a long shot. I’ve been in relationships — just not what I’d qualify as serious ones. After our date, though, I went home, poured myself a glass of wine, and started comparing my so-called “serious” relationships to the ones I wouldn’t dare label as such.

Facebook before finally asking me out. But aside from virginity loss, that relationship was about as meaningful as a high school relationship could be. He taught me that it’s important leave a relationship that’s tanking, especially if the partner in question is emotionally manipulative. I knew in high school, but didn’t date until I was 23.

He taught me that just because a guy is seemingly nice, it doesn’t mean that you’re meant to be together. The not-so-serious relationships are also the relationships that forced me to recognize that, even if I didn’t find love, I’d probably be okay. I was actually looking for. I thought of Will, Jude, Rob, and the dozens of other men who have come through my life. There was the whiskey distiller who slept on an air mattress in a crawl space, the lawyer who picked me up on the subway, and the person who I was messaging on Bumble who wound up standing next to me in line at Whole Foods.

Oh, and there was the guy my English professor set me up with out in San Francisco, with whom I had a passionate two-week love affair. There are more not-serious relationships like these that have filled my time during this decade. These are the relationships that have forced me to confront truths about myself more than the ones with guys I’d considered boyfriends. They were like crash-course couplings, and given the sheer number of them, I think it’s safe to say that I’ve learned quite a few lessons. But most importantly, the not-so-serious relationships are also the relationships that forced me to recognize that, even if I didn’t find love, I’d probably be okay. I stuck it out with the longer-term men because I thought I needed to be in a partnership.