The seemingly innocent being single forever patterns and habits that can keep you single forever. Being single for a certain amount of time has its benefits. I personally experienced the most growth and self-awareness during my years as a single girl, and while there were some painful and lonely moments, they all led me to a place where I could break through some of my walls and do some necessary inner work. At the same time, no one makes it a goal to be single forever.
Even though that is the goal, a lot of us mistakenly go about attaining the thing we want so much in all the wrong ways. We continue to live life in the same way and hope that it will somehow lead to different results. We know that this doesn’t really make any sense, and yet we continue to operate from a default setting. Being single isn’t a curse and being in a relationship isn’t a cure-all. No matter what stage you’re in, it’s important to take a personal inventory—to look at the habits and choices that are helping you, and the ones that are hurting you. It’s about identifying faulty patterns and thought processes that may be blocking you from getting what you want. I have written many articles on how to get the relationship you want.
There are also ways to guarantee that you never get what you want. Seeing what they are is the first step in correcting the problem. Don’t ever learn from your mistakes. If you find that you keep ending up in the exact same situations over and over again, it’s time to do some reflecting and consider why it’s happening, and what is leading you to this place.
Take a look at your patterns and see if you can rewire some default settings. Blame your singleness on the fact that there are no good men left. We don’t know ourselves as much as we think we do and oftentimes what we think we want is not the same as what we actually need. You’ll be surprised what can happen when you stop assessing if he has all the qualities you want and instead try to connect to him as a person. Don’t trust how he feels about you—assume he’s going to dump you, he won’t call you back, he won’t commit, etc.
Being paranoid about how a guy feels creates a vibe and energy that can turn this fear into a reality. Analyze his texts, the things he said, his posture, the language he used. When you overanalyze, you aren’t being present or authentic. You’re in strategy mode and no matter how stealth you think you are, a guy can always pick up on this energy and it’s off-putting.