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The terms “top” and “bottom” are also used: the top is the instigator of an action while the bottom is the receiver of the action. The two sets of terms are subtly different: for example, someone may choose to act as bottom to another person, for example, by being whipped, purely recreationally, without any implication of being psychologically dominated by them, or a submissive may be ordered to massage their dominant partner. Despite the bottom performing the action and the top receiving they have not necessarily switched roles. The abbreviations “sub” and “dom” are frequently used instead of “submissive” and “dominant”. The precise definition of roles and self-identification is a common subject of debate within the community. A man handcuffed to a bed and blindfolded. BDSM” is an umbrella term for certain kinds of erotic behavior between consenting adults.

Terminology for roles varies widely among the subcultures. The interaction between tops and bottoms—where physical or mental control of the bottom is surrendered to the top—is sometimes known as “power exchange”, whether in the context of an encounter or a relationship. BDSM actions can often take place during a specific period of time agreed to by both parties, referred to as “play”, a “scene”, or a “session”. Such explicit sexual interaction is, for legal reasons, seen only rarely in public play spaces, and it is sometimes specifically banned by the rules of a party or playspace. Whether it is a public “playspace”—ranging from a party at an established community dungeon to a hosted play “zone” at a nightclub or social event—the parameters of allowance can vary.